Faith Is a Gift I Have Yet to Receive

9:50 AM Unknown 0 Comments

Some friends who knows my atheism asked do I celebrate Christmas? I do. I don't see Christmas as a religion-based event. Never. Jesus wasn't even born on December 25th. It was just something they made up. They just want a day off. So they created Christmas and say baby Jesus was born on the day. In fact, nobody knows when exactly Jesus born. It wasn't about that. Christmas is about celebration. Smiles. Laughter. Being with families or the people you care about.

On Christmas Eve I accompanied my parents to a church near the neighborhood. I haven't been bold enough to declare my atheism to my parents. How long has it been since I go to church? I don't know. Being in the place sure gave me some flashbacks. When the mass began, each of us were holding candles. Then some altar boy light your candle. We pass the light to the people beside us. Then a sea of lights created, in the dark of the hall. The hymn sang. It feels solemn. It gave me such amazement. And for a brief moment...peace.

But you are an atheist, you might say.

I am an atheist. You don't have to be a believer to be amazed. You don't have to dislike the whole pizza just because you hate the paprika, right?

If you're following the blog you would have noticed my shifting of faith. I started as a believer. Then came a doubt, and it grows into disbelieving. And now I dare say I am an atheist.

Being an atheist in a strong religion based country does give me pressure. To be that one anomaly against the system. I have been confronted, questioned. Why did you change to this? You know what's the hardest part of being an atheist? The explaining. To make a point that being an atheist doesn't make me the devil.


I am not proud to be an atheist. Nor i am ashamed about it. It's just who I am. What I believe. Believers have their faith to their god. Faith is believing in things without questioning, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. And I just don't have that.